sorry i didn't get this out to you sooner, as soon as i'm done
with this, i'll be on the next available line terminating my personal
assistant for failing to send me out a reminder this morning. don't
worry too much, this is not an isolated incident.
last week she neglected to inform me that the insurance company
called to tell me one of my dog-food factories had burned down, taking with it the furniture shop adjacent. i had to find out
from the raging shop owner a full 3 hours after the fire department
had subdued what the shop owner characterized as a "hadean
inferno" to a "violent blaze.". needless to say, i've had it with
Tammy.
in an effort to enrich your life, if only in slight, i have
annexed this article of correspondence with some anecdotal guidance
for ridding yourself of slugs, which i'm sure you have in abundance at
your place of residence, in abundance, along with a write up
concerning this vice guide i can't shutup about. i thought i would
give someone else a shot at making an argument for it. take care, -Asa
4.08.2008
letter to la finca chip mfr
Dear La Finca,
Your chips are fantastic, but I have a complaint. They break, before
they show up in my kitchen, they've already been smashed to bits in
the post/dist. process. Those guys don't care about breakage. How
about making these chips a little thicker? It wouldn't take much, just
enough to deter throwing half of the bag in the trash or feeding the
chip shards to the dog. It seems to me, that you might bring in some
more prestigious clients if you were to crank up the thickness on the
chip machine or i guess you could hire some supremely careful chip
handlers and invest in some "fragile/handle with extreme care" stamps.
Can I really be the only one who has brought this up? I'd really like
to keep buying your chips, and would be willing to pay a little extra,
for a few more fully formed, completely intact chips. -Asa
Thanks for your response CR,
I would eat them anyway but what would you do with a half bag of
broken chips? -Asa
Your chips are fantastic, but I have a complaint. They break, before
they show up in my kitchen, they've already been smashed to bits in
the post/dist. process. Those guys don't care about breakage. How
about making these chips a little thicker? It wouldn't take much, just
enough to deter throwing half of the bag in the trash or feeding the
chip shards to the dog. It seems to me, that you might bring in some
more prestigious clients if you were to crank up the thickness on the
chip machine or i guess you could hire some supremely careful chip
handlers and invest in some "fragile/handle with extreme care" stamps.
Can I really be the only one who has brought this up? I'd really like
to keep buying your chips, and would be willing to pay a little extra,
for a few more fully formed, completely intact chips. -Asa
Thanks for your response CR,
I would eat them anyway but what would you do with a half bag of
broken chips? -Asa
letter to m (2,3)
Hey Miss Mina,
How the is everything?! F my birthday, it was a day not much unlike
the rest of the days. I think it fabulous you found yourself a job,
even if it is in media, the only thing I'll say is this: the day you
decide to lose your decency completely and sell your soul to the
keepers of corporate convenience, just remember that you're soul is
worth no less than a $50k per anum raise. And if you happen upon a
chance to sell it to the devil himself, tell him you'll do it for no
less than you're own TV channel, (not station), channel. In any event,
I hope you are doing well, and wish you luck in your new job,
seriously though, protect yourself. Start your very first day with the
intention of creating an atmosphere in which one day, no one will be
able to tell you shit, because you already know, you've done everyones
job, and you were 10 times as effective at it when you did it, which
will likely be the case. Don't be afraid to tell people when they
screw with you, in as few words as possible without being fired and
without telling them they are monsters, directly, but do tell them
indirectly. honesty is in short supply, it comes at a premium these
days, and most of the time people are afraid and confused by it, and
most often don't know what to do with it. Nowhere is this more true
than in the workplace. Get away with every snarky and insightful
comment you think you can. The people you want to respect you, will
protect you from those that want you canned, They're always in the
higher positions anyway. You're a sweet girl Mina, about to join the
ranks of insufferable burnout newsguys, crotchety alcoholic premodonna
news anchors, plasticine and saccharine and hardworking females that
hold everything together (they're your allies, everyone likes them so
they have to like you) and dispensable kids like you, set yourself
apart from your competition, do not befriend them, and if you must do
so only in secret, be sure and keep it a secret between you both,
laugh and smile so they don't hate you for you're superiority, even
tell them anecdotal. i have to go bb laterso let's see your tiger
face, rrrrr.! -Asa
Mina, hey
there's a movie about this stuff, i think would make a lot of sense
for you to see it, it's called: Network, based on a true story, in
which a women holds a very executive position in the news group. she's
a savvy remorseless badass, and she made me call my masculinity into
question a number of times in throughout the course of the film. It's
the one from which the line: I want you to go to your windows and get
outside and shout: I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it
anymore! originated. Also, check out: Outfoxed, it's great, in a
depressingly insightful sort of sense. blah blah bleh... anyhow... i want to know more, tell me more. i have some skype time, maybe i'll call you if you give me your number again.
i think i might have it but i'm not positive. what's the time
difference there, like 8 hours or something? i discovered pho,
i'm surfing again.. sometimes, max is still alive, and my life is
still pretty boring, i think i might buy a sailboat and start working
on it, while i take sailing lessons, save money and plan to spend the
next few years on a boat, sailing around the world, fishing, meeting
and visiting people, and surfing. my kids would be totally bored with
me as i am now, so i'd better get cracking and start creating some
interesting memories, or else. bought a new bike, it's gorgeous, but
not as gorgeous as you. -Asa
How the is everything?! F my birthday, it was a day not much unlike
the rest of the days. I think it fabulous you found yourself a job,
even if it is in media, the only thing I'll say is this: the day you
decide to lose your decency completely and sell your soul to the
keepers of corporate convenience, just remember that you're soul is
worth no less than a $50k per anum raise. And if you happen upon a
chance to sell it to the devil himself, tell him you'll do it for no
less than you're own TV channel, (not station), channel. In any event,
I hope you are doing well, and wish you luck in your new job,
seriously though, protect yourself. Start your very first day with the
intention of creating an atmosphere in which one day, no one will be
able to tell you shit, because you already know, you've done everyones
job, and you were 10 times as effective at it when you did it, which
will likely be the case. Don't be afraid to tell people when they
screw with you, in as few words as possible without being fired and
without telling them they are monsters, directly, but do tell them
indirectly. honesty is in short supply, it comes at a premium these
days, and most of the time people are afraid and confused by it, and
most often don't know what to do with it. Nowhere is this more true
than in the workplace. Get away with every snarky and insightful
comment you think you can. The people you want to respect you, will
protect you from those that want you canned, They're always in the
higher positions anyway. You're a sweet girl Mina, about to join the
ranks of insufferable burnout newsguys, crotchety alcoholic premodonna
news anchors, plasticine and saccharine and hardworking females that
hold everything together (they're your allies, everyone likes them so
they have to like you) and dispensable kids like you, set yourself
apart from your competition, do not befriend them, and if you must do
so only in secret, be sure and keep it a secret between you both,
laugh and smile so they don't hate you for you're superiority, even
tell them anecdotal. i have to go bb laterso let's see your tiger
face, rrrrr.! -Asa
Mina, hey
there's a movie about this stuff, i think would make a lot of sense
for you to see it, it's called: Network, based on a true story, in
which a women holds a very executive position in the news group. she's
a savvy remorseless badass, and she made me call my masculinity into
question a number of times in throughout the course of the film. It's
the one from which the line: I want you to go to your windows and get
outside and shout: I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it
anymore! originated. Also, check out: Outfoxed, it's great, in a
depressingly insightful sort of sense. blah blah bleh... anyhow... i want to know more, tell me more. i have some skype time, maybe i'll call you if you give me your number again.
i think i might have it but i'm not positive. what's the time
difference there, like 8 hours or something? i discovered pho,
i'm surfing again.. sometimes, max is still alive, and my life is
still pretty boring, i think i might buy a sailboat and start working
on it, while i take sailing lessons, save money and plan to spend the
next few years on a boat, sailing around the world, fishing, meeting
and visiting people, and surfing. my kids would be totally bored with
me as i am now, so i'd better get cracking and start creating some
interesting memories, or else. bought a new bike, it's gorgeous, but
not as gorgeous as you. -Asa
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